I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
