Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
