Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
