I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
