My sheets look like a crime scene.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
