Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
