Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
