my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
how does that bad decision feel?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
