loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
