dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
vagina is talking i cant
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
