god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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