hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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