He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
