Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
