I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
