so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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