If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
that is very illegal...i love you.
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