Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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