North Korea, Best Korea!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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