Cold hands, warm shart.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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