So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
