We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
