we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
