yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
