Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The Olympian is in my bed
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
