They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
