You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I enjoy the company of your penis
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
