I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
