i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you traded sex for a burrito?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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