How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Church boner. Awkwardddd
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
