Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
