I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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