I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
