He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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