wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Gay?
German.
Pity.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
