everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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