I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
