she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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