I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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