So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
