opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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