There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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