I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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