You're completely useless in the revolution.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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