I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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