Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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