Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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