just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
