i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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