Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
