The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
