What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
