Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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