So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
