Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
