okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
