just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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