There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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