What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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